How do we teach our kids to cross the road

Hi.. The old methods of crossing the road are so use less.. We now have to teach our kids the new rules to crossing the road!!
First come down to the road as the foot path is a waste of place.. Walk on the side of the road.. Then when you want to cross don't wait for zebra crossing .. Just cross from any where you want.. First look left for bikes coming in wrong direction then look right for normal traffic.. (Assuming you are on the left side of the road) .. Then don't wait for traffic to clear cause it never will.. Now start showing your hand asking for cars and bikes to stop.. If one car or bike stops stand in front of that till the next in line stops.. If it takes too long the biker will go around you and you will be stranded in the middle of the road.. No problem just keep showing your hand and cross.. Keep looking left and right for on coming and wrong direction traffic.. If you are lucky you will not be hit while crossing the road.. If you are hit.. You will either be injured or you will be no more!!! If you are no more.. You are free from crossing.. If you are injured drivers may have sympathy and may stop next time you try to cross!!
Oh ya we will have to reach this to our 5 year old kids!!!
I know you must be thinking what rubbish!! But that is what our roads have become!!

Cars don't stop on zebra crossing
People don't look for zebra crossing
We are too be blamed
No one else!!
Let's try and follow rules and someday we may be able to teach our kids the old rules!!
-JE PORTE